I am delighted to have been granted an exclusive interview with Christian Blake only hours after his now legendary battle in Antarctica.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that I asked my readers to send in questions and they were almost exclusively embarrassing personal questions. So, sorry if you wanted to know about the Tribe and its future, this is most definitely what they call a fluff piece (sorry!).
Jobie: Hello, Christian. Thank you for speaking to me at what must be a difficult time.
Christian: No problem, Jobie. I was impressed by your work transcribing my story. Good job.
*Blushes* Our readers have questions about you and your recent adventures. I pulled together what I think is a good mixture of questions; some are personal - sorry about that - and some relate to your recent experiences. I hope that’s okay.’
C: I guess we’ll see. Let’s get this over with.
I wasn’t expecting him to be so “accommodating”. It looks like we’re in luck and should take advantage of his obliging mood. Here’ goes.
What would you say are your strongest personality traits?
I'm disruptive, impulsive, intelligent, condescending and loyal. Not necessarily in that order. Doesn't make me sound like a lead character in a superhero novel? Well I am. I'm awesome!
And your weakest personality traits?
My father says I lack any semblance of obedience and I have little to no patience. But as they're personality traits of value only to someone like the Colonel Blake, why should I care?
What do you need? Anything?
I could do with a new family. No really, mine sucks; other than a certain Uncle with intriguing secrets and a forgiving nature, though I doubt he’ll let me borrow his Bentley again any time soon.
Some of our female readers want to know how old you are:
I’m 18, almost 19. I’m a Sagittarius, isn’t that what they want to know? Yuck!
Do you have ambitions?
Yeah. Good one. I’m a superhero, you don’t get to have ambitions when you have a destiny.
Sorry, that’s my grumpy post-battle persona coming out. What I meant to say was, when you have the best job in the world, who needs ambitions?
What do you like most about your physical appearance?
I couldn’t care less about how I look. Ben’s the vain one; although I’ll admit he does have a right to be.
What is your favorite saying?
Here goes nothing!
Who is your best friend?
Did you even read the book when you were typing it? It’s Ben. We’ve been as close as brothers since we were eight years old. He’s part of the Tribe now too. We voted him in, even though he doesn’t have a Guide.
What are your interests and hobbies?
I like Indie Rock Bands. I’m interested in Lexy and am glad to say she’s interested in me.
Oh, and my hobby is saving the world.
Food is for fuel, but to be fair, Lexy recently made me her very own patented Lexy’s vegan chocolate fudge brownie – her words not mine – and I can assure you I’d never turn down a slice of that. She’s been making me loads of vegan food, trying to convert me – can’t say I’m complaining.
What’s your favourite colour?
What? Pass. Pointless question.
Do you have any pets?
A bear, a panther and an arctic fox. Ha!
When we’re at the desert training facility we all share a room and when it gets too bad, I have to muck the place out like it’s a stable full of horses. I try not to do anything the Colonel would approve of, but he did teach me to look after my belongings, unlike some of my Tribe.
Where were you educated?
Various expensive private schools, all of which I was expelled from.
What are your thoughts on religion?
Thanks, but no thanks.
Do you have any plans for the future?
Oh, save the world. Small stuff like that.
What possessions do you value the most?
I have a photograph of my parents in happier times. Not that I ever saw them look like that in person, it’s just nice to know they weren’t always like they are now.
What drives your character?
I’m trying to save the world, and please don't read anything deep into this comment, but it would be great to find somewhere where I fit in.
How do you handle conflict?
Ha! You’ll see . . .
What is your favorite room and why?
I LOVE the training room at the desert training facility. Why? One word – flamethrower.
What vehicle do you drive?
If I had my choice, I’d be driving that LaFerrari I stumbled on in a certain basement or Uncle Simon’s Bentley, but the likelihood of either of those being in my future is pretty slim.
Pass. No wait, I have recently found a passion for bowling. But only balls of lighting and only when I’m trying to save the world.
What are your prejudices?
It’s not so much a prejudice as a stereotype, but I can’t shake the belief that all adults lie.
How do you feel about love?
If you’d asked me that a couple of months ago, I’d have told you that love was an illusion, but then I met a certain Settler named Lexy and she changed my outlook. She’s the girl of my dreams.
That wraps up the personal questions from my readers. I’d just like to ask you one last question if I may.
Alright, go ahead, Jobie.
Will you be going home to Richmond for Christmas?
This interview is over.